Matty 
 Geronimo "Gerry" Favoreno was born in 1980 to parents who have chosen to remain nameless and declined my requests for an interview. 

 Geronimo/Gerry grew up in the hard streets of French Lick, Indiana where he was thrice arrested for crimes of defamation against Larry Bird shrines around town. One incident, according to the police report, involved public urination and the mouth of a statue but much of the details are redacted (you'll understand whyshortly). 

 A troubled young man, Gerry decided it best to channel his hatred of Larry

Bird into his true first love...surfing. In Indiana. There were complications.

Gerry began taking every opportunity to paddle his surfboard to the middle

of local lakes and retention ponds only to find himself alone with his thoughts. 

After 8 years of "inland surfing" Gerry moved his talents to roller blading

which was all the rage in the area and was a fixture in local emergency rooms

due to his unflinching refusal to wear "sissy pads" and a trick elbow that would

often pop out of joint if impacted just so. 

It was during one ER visit where a doctor took notice of Gerry's leadership

and entrepreneurial spirit as Gerry hustled  little kids out of their money a

dollar at time to pop his elbow out of joint on command. Kids used to request

this trick...the Buck Nasty. It made Gerry a wealthy man and it really messed

up his elbow forever. 

 Gerry grew up a bit and went to college for a degree in "getting shit done"

(business) and continued to do the "buck nasty" at parties to fund his drinking

habits. During his senior year a local steel company came to the campus and

begged him to join their enterprise so that he could help woo the entire country

of China into doing business using his now renowned ability to buck nasty. 

 Gerry currently sits in his office in the ivory tower with a large 1980's style

Patrick Ewing knee pad on his elbow. Over his dress shirt. Waiting for the next opportunity to swoop into action and win clients over with his talent and now considerable charm. 

 Last March it was announced that Gerry would be "assistant mayor"

in his town which is technically an elected position but it doesn't exist

anywhere officially in any records. Gerry likes to exercise the power

of his title by punching police horses and daring anyone around to stop

him...which is impossible since he travels with an entourage of 4

people employed by both the city and by his company to protect their

asset. 

SexualChocolate 
It all started In 1980 at the Crown Point Family Fun Center in Crown Pointe, Indiana. Carl "Buck" McNaste was working as a mechanic at the local go-cart track. He was a legend in his younger days and at that point had held the record for lowest score at the mini golf course for 23 years. While waiving in yet another final lap on July 25th, 1980, Carl locked eyes with a stunner of a 16 year old girl who looked every bit of 19 and a half years old at the time. Her name was Amanda Matuska and she could be compared to a poor man's Mandy Moore. Carl asked that lovely lady to join him for cheese balls and a snow cone and 17 minutes later she escorted Carl to the restroom. After 21 seconds of foreplay she was riding him bareback like a retarded blue whale who forgot how to breathe. Best sex of Carl's life. Mandy would return to the family fun center a couple of months later to find Carl and inform him that she was pregnant
only to discover that Carl had moved to California to take a literal stab at the porn
industry.

 Mandy would give birth to a boy 9 months later on April 16th, 1981. Carl never
provided Mandy with his name so all she had to go off of was him repeatedly saying, "Take that Buck Nasty you bitch" during their restroom encounter. So... she named her son Buck Nasty Matuska in honor of his father.

 Growing up, everything was a race for Buck. Reading. Peeing. Eating. Running. He had to be first. Until he grew to an awkwardly tall height in 7th grade. It was at that point that Buck realized that only stupid cunts ran fast. He then fell in love with driving. Fast driving.

 It was in 7th grade where the world of go-cart racing in Indiana would realize Buck's greatness. Racing at various tracks across the state (sometimes in front of crowds as large as 42!) Buck's fame skyrocketed. By the time Buck graduated from high school, he had signed on with Earnhardt Racing and was considered the #1 prospect for the future of racing. 

 After all that work, Buck made it to the big time but it would all come to an end quickly for him. You see, there was another up and coming racer who couldn't get out from Buck's shadow. His name was Jeff Gordon and he was the devil on rainbow wheels. Jeff knew that Buck always kept a two liter bottle of water in his race car to
stay hydrated while driving and managed to inject an ungodly amount of bull semen into it. The results were catastrophic. Buck managed to crash 3 competitors, drove a full lap the wrong direction, ran over 6 pit crew members, and somehow parked his car on top of Dale Earnhardt's to "trap it" and proceeded to rape the exhaust pipe.

 At the age of 24, Buck was banished from racing forever. With no income, minimum will to live, and nothing to lose; Buck turned to porn. At $25 a movie, Buck was able to make $500 a week. While using a thrusting method that can only be described as a lazy eyed pirate with one leg battling a sperm whale suffering from extreme muscular dystrophy, Buck caught the eye of a director who had become famous for filming girls pooping into cups and then eating it. You see, that director had experienced a very similar thrust earlier in his life and needed to know more. Yes, it was Carl McNaste and Buck would finally have the father he had always dreamed of.  After assisting with the lighting on the set of, "2 girls, 1 Billy goat, and a Bottle", Buck realized that the porn industry just wasn't for him. He moved back to the Hoosier state, found a respectable job in selling scrap metal and picked up excessive drinking as a lifestyle hobby.
 At this very moment, you can find Buck sitting on a barstool at Connor's Pub as locals pay for his drinks in exchange for stories of his life. 

blink 
As Kung Fu magazine puts it: "When a man can tow a truck with his genitals, that’s all
anyone ever really remembers about him." Buck_Nasty is a grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong Kung Fu, said to have 60,000 followers worldwide. In 2008, he attached his penis to a truck for a demonstration and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fresno, California. The feat was a culmination of two weeks of determination and hard work.

 Forever the competitor, here is a quote from Buck immediately following the
spectacle.. “I was as hard as a diamond in an ice storm. I could have pulled more.”

 In parallel, the song “I Could Have Done More” plays near the end of Schindler’s List when Oskar Schindler is fleeing from the advancing allied forces. He had hired so many Jewish workers, not for the purpose of making money, but to spare them from the death camps. By the end of the war, he had spent nearly every last dollar of his once large fortune, and in doing so he saved more than 1,100 people.

 As for leaving an indelible mark on the world, most would say that pulling a truck with your penis makes Schindler’s charity look inferior.

 Thank you Buck Nasty, our lives will never be the same.

MickyKnox
Buckland Aaron Sinatra/Andretti. (Buck)

 Nobody knows for sure who Bucks real parents were, however, there are a few clues. 
 All we know for sure is that he was conceived on the set of the 1967 movie 'Clam Bake' and his mother gave birth to him on the set of the 1968 movie 'Speedway'. 
 Baby Buck was found, in a basket, on the doorstep of Indianapolis Motor Speedway Association, with a hand written birth certificate. 
 The only information given was the conception location, the birth location and a name. It was signed at the bottom, 'Nancy' Scribbled beneath that name it simply said, 'these boots were made for walking' 
 Some said his middle name could be a clue as to who his father was, that and his impeccable Rockabilly hair style and side burns, of which he had from day one.
 The Speedway association had no means of raising a small child and decided the best thing to do was to offer him up as part of the 1969 Indy 500 prize package.
 In that year, driver Mario Andretti and his wife had been trying for their first child, with little success, Mario was always to busy racing cars and rarely had time for coitus, it was a win win for the Andretti's that year.
 Baby Buck was taken on the victory lap, on the high bank of turn 2, he took the wheel and broke Mario's half lap record., the boy had talent.
 Some sportsmen have lucky underpants, Bucks luck came from wearing a full denim ensemble, Jeans, shirt and jacket, and he wore it well. Winning every junior race in every category he entered it was clear that this boy would conquer the world of motor sports. Until, in 1985 the FIA declared all driver were required to wear fire retardant racing suits, which did not include Deem. . This was the end of racing for, Buck, he was prepared to compromise on a lot of things, helmets, seatbelts, and various other, what he called, 'pussy ass safety measures', but fashion was not one of them.
 At age 19, he left motor racing behind. Buck took his 1956, Harley Davidson, which he had rebuilt himself, and left his adopted family, for life on the road. 
 A drifter, a rebel without a cause, a wild one, he simply followed the road for years. Women loved him, men feared him, both for the same reason. During this period he was a troubled man, without feelings, or remorse, vacant of emotion, he was just plain Nasty. That is where the name came from. Wanting to distance himself from his famous adopted name and the rumours that surrounded his middle and christian name, he just went with what people were saying about him, the name's, Nasty, Buck Nasty.
 It was only when he landed a job in a Travelling a sideshow that Buck found his calling in life.
He rode the wall of death, the only man to do the stunt in all denim, while completely on fire. 
He did 8 shows a night, 7 nights a week, for 5 years, with out so much as a sun burn. He did this to prove his faith in denim as legitimate racing attire. The sentiment fell on deaf ears, or perhaps The FIA just missed the show.
 Nicolas Cage studied Bucks show while preparing for his role in the movie Ghost Rider and Buck was employed to do the stunt work. While in the movie, Cage, wore a leather outfit, Buck did all the work in denim and the leather was added using CGI technology. (Not even a tan)

While working on the movie he was replaced in the side show by his apprentice, Robert Knievel. 

 Upon returning to the Circus, Buck took up the position of Ring Master, then later purchased the Circus and renamed it, Circus Nuts.

The Circus Nuts became the greatest travelling sideshow the world has ever seen.

And Buck? He regained his sence of humour and his love of all people. Today he is one of the nicest men you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. Nasty by name, Nice by nature.