Most of mans greatest inventions have been born out of necessity, Skid Water is no different.
Skid Mansion 2006, Inzane was home alone and in need of a refreshing drink. The fridge in the main
kitchen had been boned out after a night of celebration, as it was every night. The rest of the Skids were still sleeping of the hangovers of victory in the war room. Nobody knew he went down there, the cellar was a place that had yet to be explored.
Inzane, since moving into the mansion and being a man of simple tastes, had been sleeping in a wet cardboard box under the stairs, therefore held no fear for dark damp places and entered the cellar without fear. As he reached the bottom of the stairs the hatch slammed shut.
Months had passed, the rest of the house just assumed Inzane had gone out for milk, its a long way to the shop, and we knew he liked to, Rock and or Roll. Not much thought had been given to his absence.
By pure chance on the 69th day of his disappearance, Chuck, being in desperate need to find new places to stock pile the mountain of corpses he was accumulating, decided to utilize the unused cellar. Upon opening the hatch he was greeted with the sound of uncontrollable laughter and what sounded like the ramblings of a mad man, 'It revives and sustains', 'it smells like teen spirit', 'Its like angels tears', 'its just as good shaken as it is stired', 'There can be only one'. Chuck just passed him on the stairs, asked, 'did you get the milk?'
Unbeknownst to us there was an old brewery down there, the floor was flooded
with effluent to a depth of 4'6", (as luck would have it, Inzy was 4'8" tall) Having
nothing to drink Inzy had began to utilize the brewery vats to ferment the rancid
water, effectively purifying the disgusting liquid. The only part of the equipment
missing was a filtration system which Inzane managed to rectify by stretching his
Tighty Whities over the filter outlet pipe, thus rendering it drinkable. Not only was
it drinkable it was delicious and had amazing beneficial effects, While down there
Inzane not only grew 6", he had an amazing tan, as well as sporting a lush, thick,
perfectly groomed beard. (Before that Inzane was as smooth as a frogs asshole)
Chuck would have to find a new home for his corpses, The Skid Water Brewery was established.
Skid Water Classic, hit the market and ended the long running Cola wars over night. Two weeks after launch Skidmark purchased both the Coca Cola and Pepsi corporations and using the same labeling replaced both products with Skid Water, nobody even noticed. That was one of the magical things about this product, upon the first taste it effectively changed the genetic makeup of a persons taste buds and fooled them into thinking, that what they were consuming, was exactly what the wanted to taste at the time. You could drink Pepsi and believe it was Coke, when in actual fact you were drinking fermented shit. (nothing new there)
This revelation also allowed Skid Water to be added to any product you could think of and people could not get enough of it.
The Skid Marketing Department had a field day and the money rolled in, and in, and in, as it still does, but we dont like to talk about that...
